Well guys, if you struggle with same-sex attraction you probably have experimented with fantasy, porn, masturbation, and even acting out anonymously and, unfortunately have a full blown addiction by now. You have tried to stop, made all kinds of promises to yourself, or to your wife (if she knows) and you keep failing. You feel shameful, angry at yourself, angry at God, and ready to either throw in the towel or something even more desperate. Please don’t give up hope… you need help. Addiction thrives in the dark, when kept secret. Even if you have told your wife, you probably have begged her to not tell anyone else and she now is also suffering in silence. You must make a step to tell someone, either a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor. There are some things to look for in the person you seek:

  1. Talk to someone who you feel will not judge your sin. Judgement does not help, grace does.
  2. Try and find a counselor or pastor to talk with who has some experience in this area. I was told many times to “pray more” or “read your Bible more” and these are great things, but I needed someone who could understand my situation and give me the help I needed.
  3. Get into an accountability group. This is a group of guys that you can tell about your struggle/addiction. You don’t have to tell them you have same-sex attraction right away. Test the group and see how you think they would handle it. For the first few times telling them you want accountability for masturbation, porn, sexually acting out are all okay and truthful.

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