Was I Born Gay?

No, God would not create his children to be gay and then condemn homosexuality in His Word. Being “gay” is a feeling, not a biological occurrence. I know when I was struggling with homosexuality, I felt gay, I felt attracted to other men and no one could convince me that those feelings weren’t real. However, I came to understand that the feelings were real, but the basis of those feelings was hurt and distrust of men. The feeling is sexual attraction because of the path during puberty when everything seems to be about sex. However, in the beginning when the boy is small, he isn’t thinking about sex, but he is confused about who he is in his identity because he feels different than other boys… he does not feel like one of them. This is why many men say “I have felt gay since I was born.” Well, this may be true, but it is not because we were born this way, but because of hurts that happened very early on that caused us to doubt our maleness. These hurts are caused by fathers who have abandoned or rejected the son, mothers who become overly emotionally connected with the son, and even sexual abuse or early age sexually acting out (an older person, sibling etc. begins to sexually touch or “explore” with the boy). These things cause a brokenness in the boys identity and in his masculinity. That is why he rejects the males in his life initially and generally has mostly female friends, closeness with mother, grandmother, female teachers, but won’t associate with men or finds it very uncomfortable. These things definitely affect his “feeling gay” but does not mean that he was born that way.